well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
