first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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