he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
