I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
