A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
