I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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