I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
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I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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