I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
