we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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