he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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