used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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