could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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