I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
