So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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