Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
