so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
