Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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