In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
