i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
