The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
