the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize