covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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