I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
