She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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