C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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