are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
