Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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