Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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