I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize