My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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