I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
