Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
