Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
