At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
