What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How external is "for external use only"?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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