The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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