Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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