I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
