ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
