my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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