let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
