I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
