I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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