so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
