i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
