A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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