look no pants
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
