even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
