I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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