You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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