But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
