The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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