My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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