i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
