What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
