yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
