Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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