She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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