bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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