K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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